I love a land of bribery and fraud,
Of deals behind closed doors;
Of politicians bought and sold,
And justice bought by the highest bidder scores;
I love the sound of embezzlement,
Of kickbacks and brown envelopes;
I love the smell of dodgy contracts,
Of schemes and scams that work and cope;
The sting of a rigged election,
The thrill of a rigged result,
The joy of a hidden bank account,
And the feeling that comes with a corrupt cult;
Wide open to exploitation,
Our land is for the taking;
We pillage it for our own gain,
And leave our fellow citizens aching;
Corruption is our national pastime,
Our birthright and our legacy;
Our leaders are the best at it,
The envy of every wannabe;
For it’s a land of ill-gotten gains,
Of fortunes made from deceit;
And though it’s not the country of my dreams,
It’s the country that we beat.
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